Do I sound mad?
Well I guess I’m a little pissed
Every action has a point
Five points make a fist
You close ‘em
You swing ‘em
It hurts when it hits
And the truth can be a bitch
But if the boot fits
I got an idea
You should get a tattoo that says “Warning”
That’s all, just a warning
So the potential victim
Can take a left and safe breath
And avoid you
Sober and upset in the morning
“maybe if i drink another coffee, i will feel better”
“maybe if i buy myself a new sweater, i will feel better”
“maybe if i get so drunk i can’t see, i will feel better”
“maybe if i sleep for fourteen hours, i will feel better”
… Don’t fucking talk to me like that. Don’t fucking talk to me at all. You act so fucking ugly.
On a personal note (lol like nothing is personal!), I am considering going back on anti-depressants to help me cope with the day to day. I am not on them currently as (since April) i have been on and off medication used for donating eggs, and I didn’t want to mess with that.
But as you guys know, I’ve been real bad for the past few months. Seeing as my main feeling is “meh” and then just falling off the “meh” cliff into darkness, I’d rather have a more stable “meh” (hahah, meh).
Anti-depressants have been overblown into something terrifying that turns you into a robot for FAR too long. I have avoided them in my past due to this fear. But just ask my friend who’s been on them for six years. She is the most lively, bubbly and creative person I know.
However, there is a worry for me that I become more apathetic and callous because I have alexymithia. Alexymithia (among other things) causes the sufferer to be disconnected from their emotions. I have been warned before by my GP to be wary of this, as anti-depressants can do a similiar thing. So “emotionless” can happen for me, but it’s not too far from how I already aim.
Basically I’d just like a coping mechanism while I am in a static phase of transtioning that is causing more unwarranted grief on top of my depression and dysphoria (etc).
I just want to say thanks to you guys, who message me when they know I’m down, and I hope you know I’m there for you too.
It would seem my words and “combined ignorance” have caused offense. However, I am not meant to take something that makes me feel like shit AND is aimed at me, personally. And this is something (let’s say) Mr A hasn’t yet bothered to discuss with me.
But here I am, truly a dreadful, ignorant person. What a bad friend I am…